Date a girl who read and write ~ Rosemarie Urquico

North Wind's Journey

This is not written by me. I am sharing this, because I was smiling constantly while reading it online. And I want to save it for myself and read it whenever I feel bad about life or about relationships. I want to be able to remember that there are millions more like me. And millions who understand how to be with me.

Date a girl who read and write ~ Rosemarie Urquico

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking…

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The Liberating Feels of Writing

Honestly, I would rather write and be all by myself than talk in front of people or even to be with a large group of people. My social preference is of an introvert. I prefer small groups, deeper conversations (though crazy mad stupid shallow conversations are fun occasionally, too.), closer relationships than those casual hi-hello kind of friends, or should be more appropriately called as acquaintances. Trusting people is very difficult for me. There are even times right now that I don’t trust my closest, closest friends with some of the important bff-secret worthy kind of details as they do to me. It’s not just I’m afraid of being judged (which I am, sometimes, not my friends actually but from other people), I just feel that if I share this and that to them, I feel like I’ve been stripped naked. I become vulnerable. I become anxious about other people knowing it, what they may think, what if they tell someone, what if they think less or other of me if they know that part about me. Those paranoid thoughts come to me whenever I decide to take a step further and lower down my walls and actually open up to someone. Luckily, I’ve found some people who I seem to trust, and they trust me too. So I’m lucky. Lucky and blessed. Though there’s still that paranoid part of me. Maybe, I’ll never be able to take that out totally.

 

So, writing. Whenever I write, I just need a piece of paper and a pen. A paper wouldn’t judge me. It wouldn’t respond to the rubbish and thoughtless and maybe sometimes sensible things I write on it. It wouldn’t even correct me if my spelling or grammar is wrong. And after I write, after I pour out everything I needed to spill, I feel liberated. I feel like I’m a new clean sheet of paper. 

I also write or it’s more proper to refer it as type in my laptop. I type stories, short stories mostly. I’ve got a lot of attempts on novels but I just can’t seem to finish any of it. So I stick with shorter ones. I’ve got blogs even before this one. I got my real name on it and I don’t update it much because it may get readers and I don’t want them to recognize me. That’s why I made this blog as anonymous as I can. I can be free. I can write anything I want. 

And other than writing, I also like dragons now. haha. (because of How to TRain Your Dragon and Game of Thrones). But I like reading first, then writing, then movies, then dragons. I like a lot of things actually. It would take a decade for me to remember and put into list everything. 

 

      #chasingstars

How great is our God

I don’t know why and how I got here and do this thing. But I know one thing’s for sure. God led me here. And He wants me to do this. Without Him, I don’t know where I’d be. so thank You for everything. 

Falling Apart

So there’s this thing I have with my sister. She doesn’t talk to me, when I try tto hug her she punches me or hits me and when I try conversing with her, she pushes me away. I don’t know when it started. I don’t know how it started.

Maybe I did something to her that made her treat me like this.  

I’M SORRY. 

 

And there’s this other thing with my mum that I feel that she’s just waiting for me to fail so that when I do, she could…I think it makes her happy to prove herself right about me. She always tells me that I’m a useless piece  of shit (not the exact words. But something like that). Maybe that’s why I don’t try anymore…

I feel so useless and such a burden when I’m around her.

I don’t want to feel this way  

I think I’m falling apart

But…

Thank You for this other thing that I have. A place where I could be useful. A place where I can be myself. No judgements. A place full of love. 

Without it I might just kill myself. Haha

Wells that’s all for now. 

 

Looking For Alaska

“You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking how you’ll escape one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.”

Looking For Alaska by John Green, definitely a roller coaster ride for me. First, Pudge’s a good boy, then he smokes and drinks, then likes Alaska, then Alaska’s care free and badass, and then she’s happy and then she’s not and then Pudge and Alaska kisses and just when I thought they have a chance together…(spoiler alert) Alaska dies. 

One thing I love while reading the book is Alaska’s wondering about the Labyrinth. According to her, the Labyrinth is the suffering we experience as long as we’re alive. She has a point. Suffering, right. And all the wrongs things that we let to happen in our life and the pain and all.  I myself wanted to get out of this Labyrinth. I looked forward on that day where I get to find the end of the maze I’m trapped in. But what about The Great Perhaps? I want to venture and experience a Great Perhaps just like Pudge wanted at the first part of the book. Will I have my Great Perhaps if I busy myself finding ways on how to escape the Labyrinth?

Without the Labyrinth, my Great Perhaps will be impossible. So here’s the thing. I don’t know how, I don’t know when I’m leaving this Labyrinth of suffering and this Maze called Life, but I’m sure going to have my Great Perhaps like Pudge did. 

“Thomas Edison’s last words were ‘It’s very beautiful over there’. I don’t know where there is, but I believe it’s somewhere, and I hope it’s beautiful.”

I will get out of this Labyrinth. I will be out there. I may not know where and what is out there, but I believe it’s somewhere, and I hope it’s beautiful…

#chasing stars

Unlike You

How about I pretend that I don’t have these shitty feelings for you and try to make myself believe that you’re just another human being who I happen to know and  talk to.

I’ve been pretending for a while actually.

It came to a time that I believed that I felt nothing for you. I was glad I got rid of the feelings.

But then, something triggered the old shit. I hate you for that.

It somehow came back. (Now I’m posting emo craps on my twitter)

And now I want to get rid of it again. Like, for good. No pretends anymore.

How can I unlike you?